It was simply incomprehensible to K. that other people spent weeks, perhaps even months, thinking about how they could best, most sustainably and probably most economically satisfy their wishes and needs. Determined as he was, he went straight to the nearest car dealer. A young man in a dark suit greeted him friendly and asked for his desire. "A car of course", said K. and smiled indulgently. "And it would be best to do it right now and especially here!" But the salesman was not satisfied with that. Two doors or four? Four-wheel or front-wheel drive? Diesel or petrol? An electric car, maybe? Station wagon or convertible? Red or silver or black or white? A spacious family car or rather a sporty model? Air conditioning? navigation system? Aluminium rims?
Josef K. was hopelessly overtaxed. After he had passed the first stage of questions helplessly, he walked aimlessly through the car dealership, on the heels of the salesmen. After two hours he had sat in twelve models, opened countless bonnets, inspected half a dozen trunks and had the dashboard of each model explained to him in detail. After another hour, he was sure: he finally had no idea what he wanted. When he left the car dealership, behind him a desperately grimacing salesman who was just now vehemently questioning his choice of profession, Josef K. met his friend Johann O. How, where and why the two had once become friends, nobody really knew anymore. The fact was: their differences welded them together. O. was even very different, at least from K.'s point of view.
O. left nothing to chance, he planned conscientiously. When he saw the desperate K. he knew immediately what was going on. "Listen, my friend, if you don't prepare yourself thoroughly for such a purchase, you'll still be walking next year," he said in a determined tone of voice. "Don't put it off now, but go home, think about what you want and then come back tomorrow and buy. And exactly what you need." The next day K. went back to the dealership and actually bought from a slightly older salesman in a dark suit: ...car. It was first chosen in peace and quiet. Contracts were signed. Hands were shaken. And in the end K. drove home smiling. in a car that was exactly what he wanted.
Why are we telling all this? Because we at CoPlanner know a lot about controlling and business intelligence - but naturally little about the basis on which you make your decisions. So if you come to us with a clear catalogue of requirements, you save us unnecessary effort - and yourself unnecessary costs. How does that sound? After a good ...
Wolfgang Kühnelt, studied sociology and Hispanism. He has been working as a copywriter and conceptionist in advertising and communication consulting since 1998.
Since 2003 self-employed with Pretty Commercial. Part-time journalist and lecturer at various educational institutions. Likes to read, likes to walk, likes to laugh. And has been running the culture and satire blog Der Haubentaucher since 2000.