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FROM THE SO-CALLED PLANLESS APPROACH

EINIGE VIELLEICHT SO NICHT ERWARTETE BETRACHTUNGEN ÜBER MÖGLICHE METHODEN DES PLÄNESCHMIEDENS

They say: Planning is half the battle. But statistics show that we spend half of our life in a state of twilight, sleep or inertia. A quandary. Because the Lord gives his own in his sleep, or so they say. So what do we do? We prefer to be awake. Here is a guide to "All About Plans".

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

Plans are made (outdated form), considered (painful form), thrown overboard (frustrating form). A collection of different plans is called a planetarium. If an indignant supervisor turns a plan into a paper airplane, it becomes an aeroplane. Plans are born. Before they see the light, they are called blueprints and are not dissimilar to embryos in their behaviour, but they look very different. Immediately after birth, almost every plan goes through a planning study, some of them look quite dishevelled afterwards. Plans also occur in the animal world, rarely, but nevertheless. The best known example is the bulldozer, the stupidest the dog Rantanplan. But even in every plan there can be a rather fat dog. Every state capital has an urban planning office. There rejected plans are dug up again around the clock and you can see that.

Everyone needs a plan. If he doesn't have one, a map will do. Timetables play an important role in our lives. There are many numbers to be found on them, not all of which need to be remembered. Trains, for example, tend to blow the whistle on every scheduled arrival. In general, many public transport systems use a secret plan known only to them. Basically, there is nothing against secret plans, provided that the secret agents created especially for this purpose do not get any wind of it. The devastating consequences are shown in the cinema and on television. Once a double zero comes into play, every plan is ruined. Minimum. Fortunately, this does not play a role in our further planning considerations.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

Planning has been done practically since mankind has existed. Otherwise we would be sitting there today without fire or artificial light, and the soldering lamps and dowel drills would not work either. Supposedly, the earth and all that which flies around us white out there was created according to an ingenious plan of creation. Anyone who is convinced of this can call himself Kaplan. Historically, there have been many grand plans. One of the most famous plans of the 20th century is the Marshall Plan. It helped to revive the economy in the postwar years, especially in Germany. Today, the crank is called Angela Merkel and is affectionately called Mutti (mum), if the plan has a correspondingly high sympathy-recognition-plan value (short: SAP or SAPW). The wish is the mother of all plans. This requires stimulation. Therefore the word motivation should be replaced by mutation. The planned economy looks rather old. Except in Cuba. There, the inhabitants received from one of the last remaining trading partners, China, around ten million rice cookers in simple but halfway stable standard design, i.e. with robust standing capability, except on tables or other halfway flat surfaces. The trick: in return, the Cuban government had already committed itself a year earlier to immediately deliver the country's entire rice harvest to China. This is called a cunning plan.

WHICH IS TO BE REGRETTED

The term "plan" is hardly noticed in the songs, which are gladly cherished and cultivated. Although many things can be rhymed away with it - from the swan to the crane, which stands masterless but longingly in the beautiful light of the evening sun. The secret hymn of some advertising agencies is "Not a nice plan at this time ...", but you should forget about it right away. The rock song "Plantanamera" has only been accepted on Mallorca, but only after ten measures. We learn from it: Some holiday plans are broken. Also interesting: To set up tents you need plans and plans at the same time. You can plan a lot, but you can't plan, you can plan, and if necessary you can even plan the crooked tent. Note: The more planned people proceed, the more unerringly they are hit by chance or something else.

A cautionary example is the dinosaurs. They stood around aimlessly, but much too close together, before they were completely flattened by huge debris. Terrible. The risk that we, for our part, will soon be hit by dinosaurs hurtling down from the sky, however, is 1 : 1.000.000.000. An emergency plan is possible, but it is not compulsory or far-sighted planning.

WHAT TO KNOW LAST OR NOT AT ALL

Entry plan, armament plan, grid square. An important and weighty role in the lives of many people is played by the food plan. That's what they look like. Just reading about diet plans does not make them slimmer. If politicians or governments have absolutely no orientation at all in times of crisis, they often declare that they are "in an excellent position". Last note: Even in this way, you can show that you actually do not have a plan. And this should definitely be avoided in this digression.

A story still pushes itself into the mind, perhaps haphazardly, by chance or even freely invented. It leads to China (not because of the rice cookers). A painter worked all his life on a single painting and became considerably lonely in the process. But finally the painting was finished. The painter nevertheless invited remaining friends, acquaintances and curious people to view his work. They surrounded the painting and admired it reverently. A winding path could be seen on it; it led up a small hill, between meadows and trees, to a small but extremely comfortable house on the hill. When the viewers were eager to turn to the painter, he was no longer there. They looked at the painting again, but now completely irritated. For there the man was walking up the idyllic hill, he opened the door of the house, smiled once more, waved friendly - then he disappeared, carefully closing the painted door behind him.

He had completed his life plan with the greatest consistency. This is one lesson. The second is to think of one tree or another, perhaps just a few more branches, and to consider what was previously unknown, unthought of, ignored, overlooked. But for now: don't forget to browse through this wonderful blog.

AUTHOR

Werner Krause is cultural editor at the „Kleinen Zeitung“ and was responsible for the "Humanic" advertising for about five years. One result of this activity was the creation of the word "CUM A HIN".

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